“That’s the Shark’s House.” Veronica-Pooh Nash Poleate’s Epic Advice on How to Avoid Being Eaten.

by Chris Dixon

VeronicaSharks

Veronica-Pooh Nash Poleate in all her shark hating glory. Screengrab from Facebook.

We’d like to thank Veronica-Pooh Nash Poleate for a truly great bit of viral advice this July Fourth Weekend. With so many shark attacks in the past few weeks, this larger than life guidance counselor from the tiny Appalachian town of Rinnggold, Georgia, has a simple recommendation: Stay out of the water. She’s also one more reason I’m proud to call myself a Southerner.

“I’m not going to the ocean because that’s the shark’s house,” she says. “The shark has the right to eat you up when you in his house. When chickens come in my house, guess what? They get ate. When pigs come in my house. They on the plate…If you’re going to the beach. You go to the beach. Watch the ocean from a distance.”

It only gets better. Especially when you consider that she’s about 100,000 times more likely to die in a car crash while driving and filming with her iPhone than if she spent every waking hour of the rest of her life lolling about in the ocean. Bless her heart.

Summer Safety Tips!

Posted by Veronica-Pooh Nash Poleate on Sunday, June 28, 2015

Amen, Hallelulah, and as Veronica says, on this July Fourth, “Bless ya bones!”

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